How to keep writing
when the sh*t hits the fan
Hi, I’m Kate. Ask an Author is a reader-supported newsletter providing advice and support for authors at all stages of writing, publishing, and hand-wringing. If you know someone this applies to, you can forward them this email and encourage them to sign up. Have a question? Fill out this form and I’ll answer it in a future response.
News!
“Care and Feeding” is out in The Rumpus (content note: law enforcement, mental health, description of violence)
“Good Dead Girls,” is out in No Tokens (content note: sexual assault)
AND MORE NEWS!
My debut novel GREENWICH has a giveaway! My publisher is giving away 100 print copies — head on over to Goodreads to enter. GREENWICH is releasing on July 22, 2025, and I promise not to bombard you with annoying stuff about it but who doesn’t like a chance to win a free book?!
I guess this is as good a time as any to share the cover, which to me totally nailed the brief for “everything looks perfect on the outside, but bad things are going to happen in this house.”
I’ve been putting together a website to share some of the nice things that nice people have to say about the novel. I hope you’ll check it out! It’s so gratifying to see the many months (and years!) of behind-the-scenes work on this book start to come to fruition, and I’m looking forward to sharing more as we get closer to pub day. <3
Now, onto a question that I didn’t intend to coincide with this post-election month of Woe-vember, but this feels like the right week to really dig into how to write when life, frankly, sucks.
Dear Kate,
I don’t know if this is a good ask an author q but what do you do when you have a writing deadline and basically all the shit in your life hits the fan? And you keep looking at your draft (you have a certain amount of words you want to finish in a day) but struggle to put words together in comprehensible and good ways because of emotional distress?
- Too Sad To Write
Dear Too Sad,
Oh, friend. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time, and I wish I could come through the computer and give you a very gentle hug. This is totally a valid AAA question and something I think everyone has or will struggle with at some time. Books take years to write and in those years, a lot of life can happen. This feels like an especially appropriate question for right now when a lot of us are struggling with what the world looks like and where we are headed.
You are human, and editors are human, and agents are human, and no one is expecting you to be a robot or always power through. Can you get an extension on this particular deadline? If it’s a firm deadline, especially if there is money or career necessities or a final *final* publication due date in the pipeline, it may not be an option. Sometimes things really can’t be pushed back. But other times, it’s helpful to take a deep breath and consider how deadline-y an obligation truly is. No one is on the operating table here. Sometimes, we just can’t get the thing done in the timeline we’d hoped for. And that really is okay.
Consider the worst case scenario. What happens if you don’t make this deadline? Are these consequences you can live with? Are these consequences you absolutely do NOT want to see happen? Getting a handle on what happens if you really do not get this writing done can help you make more informed choices about what to pour into your writing right now, and what to hit pause on so you can pour that time and energy into yourself and your more immediate needs.
You don’t have to worry about letting people down if you aren’t able to get something done. I promise. It’s really a question of what will *actually* happen, and if it’s a concrete and tangible thing versus an internal piece of pressure you’ve placed on yourself. “My chapter won’t be included in an anthology” or “I won’t be elegible for a job or a promotion if I can’t get this piece finished in time” are different types of deadlines/problems than “My editor might think I’m flaky if I ask for more time” or “My book won’t be able to go on submission before the new year and I’ve been working so hard on it, I just want to get it done.”
What type of deadline are you facing? That will shape how much you have to just kind of get through it, versus how much flexibility you have to give yourself grace. And honestly? Even if you do miss out on an opportunity because you can’t get something done—what if you were okay with that? What if the life where you don’t push yourself to the breaking point is just as good and valid and fulfilling as the alternative—maybe even more so?
I try to remember that life is (hopefully!) long, and in the grand scheme of things, taking an extra few months or even a year or more to finish something isn’t going to matter, you know? I desperately want to get the next draft of my new manuscript to my agent by Thanksgiving, and it might not happen, but if I send it in December…or next year… my life will be fine. Really! So I’m remembering to still take time to go for walks and get enough sleep and hang out with friends and not go into full-stress “deadline mode” for a timeline that isn’t worth suffering for. Sometimes, yes, there are real deadlines and stuff I HAVE to get done, and maybe you are dealing with that and can’t push it back. But we live with such a go-go-go mentality all the time. It can be a profoundly radical and liberatory act of resistance to say no to living that way.
Here’s a thing I need to add, though. If you’re someone who is often in this kind of predicament, where there is a crisis bearing down that has to come first, and the writing seems to always come second… then I think it’s worth examining that a little harder and seeing if there are any changes that might serve you. That could mean setting aside more regular writing time that doesn’t get interrupted by outside needs, or taking a hard but honest look at your time and where it’s going. It can mean talking yourself into writing instead of finding ways to talk yourself out of it. It can mean adjusting your expectations of what “productive” looks like, or what you think you “should” be able to finish. It can mean examining your procrastination tendencies, if you have them, because if you’re frequently up against a deadline you can’t hit, there might be some issues around how you’re pacing out your projects and getting things done. It may be that you’ve often worked as someone who thrives under tight deadlines and need that pressure to be able to get words down, but life is more complicated and busier now and that technique doesn’t serve you anymore.
I gave an example, above, about things getting pushed back by weeks, or months, or even a year… but if things are being pushed back by years, multiple, and not because the writing takes time (writing always takes so much time!!!) but because the writing just isn’t happening… then there may be something else going on and pushing back a deadline again and again isn’t going to help you actually get the thing done.
None of this might apply to you—it sounds like whatever’s hit your life right now is a big thing that isn’t necessarily the norm. And in that case, this tough love moment isn’t something you need right now, so feel free to ignore. Sometimes, no matter what, you really just can’t get shit done, and trying and trying (and then getting into a doom spiral about it) isn’t going to help. But I know there are lots of people reading this who may identify with the “life happened, now what?!?” conundrum but also find that life is ALWAYS happening and the writing is never getting done, and I wanted to include this perspective.
I was struck by your statement that you have a certain number of words you want to get through, which makes me wonder: can you adjust your word count expectations to meet you where you are, instead of where you wish you could be? (See this post on goal-setting and the “Rate of Perceived Exertion.”) If the words aren’t “good” or “comprehensible,” can you give yourself permission to draft something that might not be perfect, but will still be closer to done than a blank page is? If you’re staring at your draft and really can’t add to it, it might be time to step away from the computer and do something else that engages with your project but isn’t actually writing—maybe there’s research, or other reading, or journaling, or free-writing, that can help you feel connected but isn’t such a big ask right now. Or maybe you’d benefit from some time truly away from it all. A walk, a shower, tacos with friends—whatever restores you and helps to refill your well.
I will get personal here and say that I am largely fueled by spite. "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" When things happen, I get angry and resentful that they’re taking time away from the life I want to be living. This is not necessarily my finest quality!!!! But it does mean that I can often compartmentalize and say this is my writing time and nothing else is going to touch it. Sometimes I truly can’t think and can’t work, and I need to adjust my expectations accordingly. I need to edit instead of draft, or draft instead of edit, or write something short instead of tackling a novel, or just read, or write something no one else is going to look at, or daydream with no expectation of it turning into more. But other times, the work is exactly what I need to stay close to, because it’s such a fundamental part of me, and it keeps me centered, balanced, and close to myself. Maybe you don’t have that relationship with your writing. I don’t know how other people feel about their work! But if writing is important to you, I think you will find a way. Maybe not every day, or maybe not in this exact moment. But this exact moment will not last forever, and the writing will be there for you to come back to.
If you’re really sad and struggling, a therapist can be a great resource to help work through the emotional distress you’re experiencing, even regardless of how it’s affecting your writing. We aren’t productivity machines and we all need all the help we can get. You don’t even need to be in extreme distress to seek someone out and talk about how it’s affecting you. I hope you have the support you need, and can feel how strongly I’m rooting for you.
Keep going!
Kate